Children need parents, not adult ‘friends’.
Children feel stress in many
areas of their lives. At school they often worry about homework, peer pressure and
the need to get good grades so that they can reach the next stage of their
education. Kids feel pressures at home with chores, finding a quiet studying
space, parental issues and sibling battles. There are also time demands for
after school programming and sports responsibilities. All these types of stress are normal parts of
developing into responsible and accomplished members of our society.
What is new to this generation is
that kids are also feeling stress due to social media. They feel that their
phones have control over them. According to The
Daily Mail, 59% of children are using social media by the age of 10. 21%
had posted negative comments and 26% had ‘hijacked’ another person’s account
and posted without permission. Looking at other statistics, 43% had messaged
strangers starting at the average age of 12. According to Guard Child, 43%
of teens say they would change their online behaviour if they knew that their
parents were watching them.
Kids are consumed with social media. They post and want to see how their messages
are being received. They are often concerned with how many likes they are
receiving and how many new followers they are getting. They need to keep their
Snapchat streaks maintained to gain new stickers and virtual rewards. Facebook
and Instagram now have Live Chats. Not only is this disruptive to teachers when
their students are engaged with social
media in the classroom, other children are being included who are either
unaware that this happening or have not approved it. These victims of social
media now feel that they have to be camera ready at all times in case they are
caught in the background.
On top of the cyber-bulling and
sexting worries, kids now have demands of their fan base. Some are moving from ‘content
creators’ to ‘influencers’. With a fan base from 10,000 and 1,000 likes per
photo, many children are being approached by big companies to be brand
influencers. This may happen
organically, with many posts featuring a specific brand but sometimes it
happens through hard work using directing, writing, editing and agents to gain
subscribers. Companies will send an email then a gift of free products to be
featured in the next blog or Instagram feed (Earning
money as a Brand Ambassador). Monster reports that there is no harm. I question that, especially when young kids
are being approached with free gift certificates and a clothing allowance to do
things that are commercially oriented. Parents may or may not be aware of this
happening.
It is so important that parents
play an active role in their child’s life and not try so hard to be their
friend. Kristina
Kuzmic is a Mother YouTube blogger who has got it right. She states quite
clearly that your children do not need more friends. They need parents. She
says that the number one job is to love them and loving them means to help
guide them in becoming responsible adults. Until they are adults, you are the
authority and you are not on the same level. If your kids like you 100% she
says ‘you are probably failing as a parent’.
Harsh but true.
Here are some parenting ideas to
help your children enjoy their social media experience:
1) Until
your children have earned the right for privacy, keep the computer in a local
area (kitchen or den) so that you can look over their shoulder and see what
they are posting, watching and who they are talking to.
2) Give
kids time limits – they often cannot self-regulate.
3) Just
like in the real world, get to know where your child spends his/her time and
know who their friends are.
4) Create
family rules with the same consequences if they break those rules in the real
world—do not talk to strangers. Do not
give out your address or phone number to people you don’t know.
5) Set
privacy settings.
6) Explain
that every post stays there forever and is a future job interview.
7) Follow
your kids on line to see what they are posting.
8) Be
a good role model yourself (and if you are not on social media, get your kids
to teach you. It can be a great bonding
experience).
9) Surround
yourself with people you know and who support you and lift your spirits.
10) Golden
Rule: Treat people the way you want to
be treated.
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